|| Farewell ||

 English version of  

|| NIROPA SAMAARAMBHA  || 

OR  

॥ निरोप समारंभ ॥ 

Foreword

How I came around to translating Ravishankar’s Marathi Short stories…………..

I picked up the ringing cell phone, on a dull afternoon in December, last year… … …

Ravi, my youngest brother, was eyeing me from the screen. His voluntary call implied, without doubt, that he wanted something out of me!!

“What is it today?” I asked cautiously… … … I could visualize his sly smile. !!

“Tell me… … … didn’t you once translate some of your favorite Hindi and Marathi cinema songs into English, for your foreign friends ?” he cast his hook … … … !!

 He had honed this skill, off and on, on our  ‘no-nonsense grandmother’  too !!!

“Yes… … … I had … … … So?” I countered, “What about them?”

“I guess all who read them felt that your translations conveyed the flavor of the original songs … … … sort of ‘HiFi’ … … … you know.”

A little flattery softens resistance !!

“Yeah,” I said, “a few told me so … … … Anyway, come to the point.”

“Whatever prompted you to do the translations?”

“You know,” I said expansively, “if you like a piece of prose or poetry, you want your friends to read, appreciate and enjoy it. And, well … … … if they don’t know the language, then you say … … … why not translate the piece for them?”

“Just my problem  … … … !!” he reeled out the line. “You have visited my blog … of Marathi stories … haven’t you?… and I know that you have enjoyed them !!! … … …

“So?”

“But what about my friends, who don’t speak Marathi? … … …

They can’t enjoy them  … … … isn’t it ?”

“Then translate them ! … … …  simple !!” I tried to spit out the hook.

“You said it,” he said, coming to the point (and, I guess, smacking his lips too). “ That’s what I thought  you will love doing.!!! ” … … …

 “… … … ? ! # *  … … …”

He pressed on.“ Who else can don my mindset and deliver the fun and punch I intended in writing them?”

“Ah, come on … … … Try you not to drag me into that deep water. !!! Where is the time?” I tried not to swallow.

“Look,” he said, sensing my crumbling resistance. “If you know swimming … … … then  … … … well … … … one pool is no different from another … … … is it?……Just let me tell you a story.”

And then, he tabled his trump card face up … … … the story of  ‘Duckie and Tailor’ … … …  in brief.

“You go … … … be Duckie, Parrot or whatever else you fancy to be, yourself. !! … … … I don’t want to be that Tailor of yours !!!” I declared.

“But who is asking you to be that Tailor?” he said, dragging me on … … …

“Now look here … … … how about  being a teller, or better still, a taleteller… say … telling my tales in English !!! … … …  eh?”

“Well … … …,” I said after a pregnant pause, “I don’t know … … … but perhaps there is no harm in trying?”

“Done !!!!” he said, bagging the catch … … … “Let us start with ‘Farewell’.”

So, gentlemen, that is how I started  this venture, with a  Farewell.  !!!

Till Ravi phoned me that day, I had been accustomed to a researcher’s or a professor’s chair all along … … …

And Ravi led me unmistakably to the back bencher’s seat, in the last row. !!

Anyway … … … I too enjoyed it a lot myself … … …

It is alright with Ravi … … … he has been a  ‘seasoned back bencher’  by birth … … … I know him inside out… … … but for me, it is a different story… …

The trouble with me now, is that, I now don’t feel like going back to the professor’s chair ever again. !!!!

And it is me  who is wondering now, how ‘Farewell’  has fared … … …

Well … … … we have done our jobs … … …

Now it is your turn, Dear Visitor … … …

– Dr. ArunShankar

February 25^th 2014.

*********************************************************************

|| Farewell ||

English version of  

|| NIROPA SAMAARAMBHA  || 

OR  

॥ निरोप समारंभ ॥ 

It was a cool afternoon in the winter of 2005 … … …

Lulled by lunch, we had slumped in the rear row of the auditorium of DRDO (Defence Research and Development Organization).  The occasion was farewell to Dr Balkrishna Gangadhar Upadhye, till now Assistant Director of DRDO, but Baaloo to us … … … his school buddies.

“From now on we will be missing Upadhye Sir,” the mike droned, “but his inspiring goodwill will always hover around us.”

The auditorium was packed. Many bigwigs bedecked the dais, including the DRDO’s director. Speakers were re-living flashbacks of memorable incidents involving Baaloo … … …

Baaloo is our childhood chum … … …

Always sharing the bench in the classroom, from the first day to the last. At play too, be it marbles or country-cricket in our back alley … … … be it as partner or as opponent … … … a genuinely bright and versatile dude.

After finishing school, we took to engineering, but Baaloo plodded the path of Physics … … … Not only plodded, but galloped… … …topping the list, and even went to America, on merit. 

At California, he lassoed not only MS but also PhD, and became a professor. Any other ordinary chap would have become glued to America … … … but not Baaloo. He itched to return home, to make a mark here … … … Resisting the dream of Dollars, he returned to India, content to romance the Rupee. Baaloo started off as senior research scientist at the DRDO.  But in just five to six years, he had won the Assistant Director’s chair.

And today his peers were singing his praise … … … recounting his priceless contributions to national defense projects  … … …  right from the very first atomic explosion at Pokhran … … …  to the latest Agni-3 missile. He was even the helmsman for some of them. Oblivious to all the praise being heaped on him, Baaloo was sitting on the dais, with his wife, looking a bit lost.

Now, Baaloo has a foible known only to his closest chums. This genius is forgetful beyond limits. We had seen him walking along the road as if in a trance, writing algebraic equations in the air, or solving Geometry riders.!! … … …  A couple of times he had even rammed into a lamp post.!!!

His razor-sharp intellect was paired with profound forgetfulness … … … Often he couldn’t recall where he left something he just had in hand, and spent hours looking for it.!!

Baaloo got married also unwittingly … … …

Bhamini,  his wife, was also our schoolmate, albeit two years our junior. When Baaloo was in final year of BSc, she studied in the second year. Both were devoted workers of the students’ council, working long hours together.

Soon after Bhamini graduated, her parents started the traditional hunt for a suitable groom for her. By then, Baaloo had returned home from America, with MS and PhD in his pockets. Because his family was close to Bhamini’s family, her parents had sought the help of Baaloo’s family also for spotting a suitable match. With typical innocence, Baaloo too had volunteered himself for the task.

One day, when some of us were having snacks at Hotel Vaishali, in walked Baaloo, with a furrowed brow. “What’s it, that ails you buddy?” we all chorused. “Don’t fret man … … … just out with it … … … what are friends for … … … hmmmm ?”

“Nana,” he let out with a sigh, “this is strictly between us … … … all my efforts are coming to naught. Five months have gone by, and still no suitable boy for Mini in sight.!!

Uncle and Auntie … … … Mini’s parents you know, are worried sick. Suggest someone baba, just that boy for her … … … and take this weight off my chest.!!! … … … will you?”

Shirish Ranade, one of us, had a real mischievous streak in him … … …

Shirish now thought of winding up Baaloo’s spring to the last twist, saying, “I tell you what, seriously Baaloo … … … Look … … … just why don’t you marry her yourself… … eh? After all … … … you see … … … who knows her better? I mean … … … all through that council work.

And she is a real pick !! … … … don’t you agree, fellas?” he finished, looking around at us with a wink.

Baaloo was caught off guard, and blurted, “What? … … … How on Earth can I, Shirish? … … … At least be a bit sensible man … … … I am her friend.”

“Then, what is the harm in giving yourself a promotion … … … eh? … … … What do you say?” Shirish pressed on.

Now Ramesh took over. “Yeah … … … Shirish has a point here Baaloo … … … just think about it you mughead !! … … … why not? Weren’t you moving around together for years? May be for your  so called council work.!! … … … but still? And that too, right under the noses of both side parents.!! You dolt … … … hasn’t it dawned on you that everyone  might be expecting you all along to marry her? How can you … … … I mean … … … how can any normal chap be so stark blind?”

Baaloo looked dazed, then blushed, and stuttered, “That would be scandalous, you rogues.!! … … …well … … … you see … … … I simply forgot.!!! … … … I mean … … … how can it be?”

All of us slapped our foreheads with our palms now.!!!!

“Why not?” countered Shirish.

Baaloo stuttered,“Please … … … don’t you all try to make a sacrificial goat of me.!!! … … … Okay?... … …Well… … I have never looked at Mini from that angle … … … I mean, it never even occurred to me. … … … you see, Mini and her parents, are just like part of our family … … … you get it ? Now tell me … … … just how can I do this to them?”

Now I too stepped forward to egg him on, “ Look Baloo … … … I think, that is exactly what you need to do for them … … … So revise your Magnetics again … … … you only know that opposite poles always attract … … … but this Magnetics is different Baaloo … … … here only compatible poles end up in a wedlock !!!… … … Got it?……..Probably this is your last chance of looking at her from that angle buddy!!! … … … just why don’t you understand this, before it is too late.?!!!

Moreover, She is a beauty too … … … no two opinions about that. She is also well educated … … … you know it pretty well … … … And the family too is first class … … … your parents also adore her. !!

Now you tell me … … … what more does she need to be the Ideal candidate to become your family? … … … yes or no? Now stop scratching this dumb head of yours … … … you understand? Take our advice … … … Just go ahead, and cash in all your council work NOW… … … before it is too late.!! !”

Baaloo’s head started swimming now. “Nana,” He said, “this thought had never occurred to me.!! … … … Well … … … It just escaped my mind, clean.!!!”

Ramesh became serious now,“Okay Baaloo … … … just be honest with us. We all know for sure, that you like Mini … … …, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” said Baaloo, sheepishly.

Ramesh, “… … … From that angle?”

Baaloo,“Ah … you may … say … … … something like that.!!”

Ramesh“Out comes the cat here pals !! … … … you all heard him? So Baaloo, just go ahead and ask her man!! … … … What a classic stonehead you are.!!”

“Sorry pals,” stuttered Baaloo, “It doesn’t cost you a dime to say all this crap … … … but saying it here is one thing, and saying it to Mini is something else.!!! … … … You understand that? And suppose, if she declines … … … then what? … … … Sorry buddies … … … you all are free to say, that I don’t have the guts … … … but this is not my cake … … … really.!!! ”

“You pussy cat !! … … … now what? … … … Do you expect us to ask her?” continued Ramesh. “What use is your PhD if you can’t ask a girl…….a known and beautiful girl at that … … … just to marry you?”

“What has my PhD to do with it?” snapped Baaloo. “This is just … beyond me.!!! … … … and that’s final.”

“OK pussy … … … Shirish said,“Then keep playing your pipe … … … and looking for suitable boys … … … alright?”

Ramesh’s sarcastic comments gave me an idea. I said, “Look Baaloo … … … why talk about guts unnecessarily? … … … Okay, we agree that asking Mini is beyond you … … …

But suppose … … … just suppose … … … that she asks you … … … then? What would you do?”

Ramesh noticed the change in Baaloo, who blushed again, and said, “Well … now that you put it this way …  it would be a different situation altogether… … won’t it? I suppose in that case … I should be … able … to say yes.”

“That’s our Baaloo !!!”, said Shirish, alive to the direction this prank was taking…….,“Is that your final word? Think again Baaloo … … … I warn you … if you let us down … ”

Ramesh closed the deal. “Baaloo, now we are your ambassadors … … … You just relax now and  let us take care of everything … … … alright?. Your travails are over.”

We changed the topic, and left Vaishali, leaving Baaloo to settle the combined bill.

Ramesh kept his word, and slyly probed Mini’s mind. To her, Baloo as a suitable boy struck as a revelation, and she too warmed up to it.!!!

So Ramesh whispered into Uncle’s and Auntie’s ears, who dittoed Baaloo’s parent’s ears.

It was the parents turn now, to wonder, how they could be blind to such an obviously made-for-each-other couple, in the first place.!!

And then, before the next week was over, Baaloo and Mini were Mr and Mrs Upadhye.!!!!

Mini took charge of Baaloo … … … lock, stock and barrel.

Of course life with him was no cakewalk. But Mini managed it with loving firmness. Most importantly, both she and Baaloo watered our friendship despite our fields of work being far different. So it came to us as no surprise when they invited us to this farewell function, and we too were enjoying the moment.

Baaloo’s colleagues were spooling their eulogies, one by one… … …

All of a sudden, Shirish said, “Nana, do you think Baaloo has changed now? … … … May be even an iota? … … … Or is he still resistant to change, like a noble metal ?”

“Baaloo? … … … And change? … … … hee hee hee.!!” jiggled Ramesh,” Just forget it man !!… … … Only Mini knows what a razor’s edge she has been walking on.!!!

Baaloo the great remains as blissfully forgetful as ever.”

“Serious?” I said. “I mean, Mini must be a saint, then.”

“Of course she is,” said Ramesh. “Last month she was telling me about her travails. She sent him to buy vegetables one day. He sputtered off, on his famous Lambretta, as usual….. Mind you, he still has that 1976 model.”

“Oh, my God!” I said, “That one with a grill basket?”

“Right,” said Ramesh, “the same … … … It is the grill that played mischief.”

“How come?” asked Shirish.

“He went to the market. Bought the vegetables. … … But where were the carry bags? Of course at home!!!

So now our Hero dumped the vegetables in the basket … … … On the way home, his brake failed.!! That made him mad, because Mini had got the scooter serviced, just a day back.!!!

Thoroughly upset, Baaloo the great now dashed off straight to the mechanic, and picked up a row with him for sloppy servicing.”

“Then?” coaxed Shirish.

“The mechanic knew Mini pretty well … … … and Baaloo inside out.!!

He calmly checked the brake link … … … removed the potato that was obstructing the pedal, and slapped it on a shamefaced Baaloo’s palm.!!!!

That’s Baaloo the great.!!! … … … Let’s pray now, he does not show his colours today.”

As Ramesh said this, one of Baaloo’s colleagues announced,” And now ladies and gentlemen, I request Dr. Upadhye to share his feelings with us … … … Dr. Upadhye please … … …”

We perked our ears … … …

“Friends, … … …” Baaloo began. “… … … My success, whatever that is, is not mine alone. Without your help, I could not have made it. So, I thank you one and all, most sincerely.”

“The credit for any man’s success,” he continued, “equally belongs to his wife too. She sticks to him, through thick and thin, with presence of mind. So I wish to publicly thank my wife, who is present here, … … … Mrs … … … umm … … … my wife Mrs … … … umm … … …

Suddenly, Baaloo went stark blank, like a blown up bulb, … … …  and turning to Mini next second, he blurted, “Listen  … quick … say……what’s your name dear? !!!!! ”

For a moment there was pin-drop silence in the auditorium, and then an explosion of laughter.!!! … … The director’s jaw dropped … … … Mini’s  face turned plum-red.!!! … … … but only for a moment.

Rising to the occasion instantly, Mini stood up calmly … … … seized the mike and addressed the audience loud and clear, “Honourable dignitaries on the dais and friends … … … Let me introduce myself … … … I am Mrs. Bhamini Balkrishna Upadhye … … …”

And then, pointing to a sheepish-looking Baaloo, she suffixed, “Dr. Upadhye’s forgotten wife.!!!!!”

And the auditorium resounded with guffaws … … …!!!

With a clean sweep, Bachelor-of-Science Mini had turned Baaloo’s farewell ceremony, into an impeccable live demonstration of ‘How to rescue an accidentally erased hard disc of a Ph.D. laureate.’!!!!

And our Dearest ‘Baaloo the great’ was left thumping his forehead with his palm, in full view of the brimming auditorium of DRDO !!!!!!!

----- Dr. ARUNSHANKAR

     March 1^st 2014.